How to Deal with the Uncertainty of Divorce

October 29, 2021

What will your post divorce life look like? 

When you’ve made a lifetime commitment of marriage, facing a divorce brings up all kinds of uncertainties and accompanying questions.

Questions like: 

  • Where will I (and the kids if you have them) live? 
  • What will co-parenting look like? 
  • How will my budgeting and spending change? 

At the Divorce Resource Centre we take a process oriented approach to these questions DURING the divorce mediation process. Whether you come to us first, or after you’ve worked with an attorney, we take you through our process so you have a system you can rely on. Goals get all the attention when developing a process and creating a system are much more important. 

This is true especially when you’re planning what the rest of your life will look like. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits said it best, “The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. Systems are the processes that lead to those results.”  

Divorce mediation is not about winning the game, it’s about finding a long term peaceful resolution. So do you have a system and a process to get there? The Divorce Resource Centre of Colorado has a six part process to arrive at a peaceful resolution. Below we discuss each step in our unique process in more detail.  

#1 Understand Your Finances to Deal with Divorce

The first step is gaining clarity about your financial situation. We focus on your current and future financial situation, your goals and guiding principles. The financial needs of the children are also part of this process. In this step, we offer initial observations and possibilities for the outcome of your case, all while taking the time to ensure that you understand each part of the mediation roadmap. 

#2 Get Your Soon to be Ex-Spouse on the Same Page

DRCC’s next step is working to make sure you and your soon to be ex spouse are on the same page. We ask the right questions to uncover your thoughts about dividing one household into two, financially and where both parents stand on various parenting issues. You’ll gather your thoughts using straightforward worksheets and have a chance to express your point of view on any issues of concern so that we can properly facilitate your discussions and agreement.

#3 Create a Budget and Cash Flow Analysis to Deal with Divorce

The third step in our divorce mediation process is creating forward focused budgets and a cash flow analysis. With our guidance, you’ll create a realistic, forward-looking spending plan to implement and rely on as you rebuild financially post-divorce. 

Each member of our team is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst so we go over: 

  • Income & Post-divorce Spending 
  • Cash Flow and Post-Divorce Bottom Line Costs of Maintenance & Child Support 
  • Appropriate Tax Filing Status and
  • Dependency Exemptions and 
  • Unexpected Life Events

#4 Got Kids? Figure out their Post Divorce Reality

The fourth step in our divorce mediation process is for parents. We believe that while your marriage ends, your family continues and care should be taken to ensure you enjoy healthy lives and relationships post-divorce. We’ll help you create a parenting plan (not an order) to meet your children’s needs and family’s best interest. 

#5 Negotiate and Agree with your Soon to Be Ex Spouse 

The fifth part of our process is negotiation and agreement. With all the details about your income, property, budgets, and parenting factors in mind, we’ll make sure you have what you need to have effective conversations with your counsel and other advisors and successfully finalize your divorce. 

Relevant documents we’ll complete include: 

  • Property Division
  • Child Support
  • Tax Implications
  • Maintenance & Child Support 
  • Final Document Review (Decisions on Global Settlements) 
  • Review of Memorandum of Understanding & Parenting Plan 

# 6 Come to a Conclusion by Finalizing with Documents/Checklists

The final step in DRCC’s process is the mediation conclusion.  We empower both of you with a plan for successful implementation of a post-divorce life—one that meets the unique needs of your family. This includes a thorough post-divorce checklist review. 

With so many what ifs and contingencies, even type B personalities are not immune to the stress of divorce. Did you know divorce is ranked #2 on the The Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale, right behind the death of a spouse? For an overview of our process, check out our divorce mediation roadmap. Better yet, when you’re ready to move closer to a better post divorce future, take the next step with a 20 minute complimentary phone consultation with a member of our team. We’ll both ask clarifying questions to better understand what is happening with you and your partner. 

Copyright 2022 © Divorce Resource Centre of Colorado
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