Sharing the same square footage 24/7 can either bring couples closer together or exacerbate already existing problems that were simmering just below the surface. If you find yourself in the latter camp, how do you begin to even investigate your divorce options?
The Divorce Resource Centre of Colorado is committed to helping families divorce peacefully, preserve their assets and create a stronger post divorce family. We're prepared to answer your questions, with or without a pandemic thrown into the mix.
You're running through a litany of questions related to what divorce will mean for you, your spouse, your children and your finances. In light of the unstable economy, you may worry about how to survive on one salary or worse, none if you become, or were already furloughed or laid off.
Our wealth of experience has led us to two questions we believe spouses must answer before they call an attorney or seek the assistance of a divorce mediator.
We delve into these in much more depth in a separate blog post but they bear repeating here.
If the answer to BOTH of these questions is a resounding yes, there is no reason you can't start the divorce process during COVID19.
If the answer to either question is unclear, we still recommend you consider what your post divorce life should look like. There's no harm in preparation that takes into account your guiding principles. For example, if you value stability in all matters, you intend for the children stay in their current home.
There is a lot of ground to cover in the divorce preparation process and that's how the role of a divorce coach came into being. We can't say it much better than the ABA, "divorce coaching is a flexible, goal-oriented process designed to support, motivate, and guide people going through divorce to help them make the best possible decisions for their future" Luckily for us, and you, Divorce Resource Centre of Colorado's Suzanne Chambers Yates is a Certified Divorce Coach.
Based on our experience, we created a divorce checklist on the bottom of our website's home page that encapsulates many of these pre-divorce considerations.
To get crystal clear about your priorities, write them out and be as specific as possible. If you wrote, "to have enough money to pay a mortgage or monthly rent" that makes sense, but have you considered whether your post divorce budget will include the money to continue your children's extra curricular activities?
We also recommend you complete an inventory of your valuable household items with the help of our Household Inventory Worksheet found at the bottom of this page.
The financial aspects of the divorce, which are just as important as the emotional, will be explored in two upcoming video segments on 5/22/20 and 5/29/20 on our page's Facebook Live.
Before you can answer the two questions above, you must have the tough conversation. Thinking through your "divorce talk" approach is crucial because it sets the tone for the entire divorce process. If you need advice on how to prepare, mediators and divorce coaches have the experience and are committed to a peaceful resolution. Compare this to an attorney who is ultimately concerned with the dissolution of the marriage and achieving the best outcome for the spouse who hired them.
As hard as it may be, you must be ready to listen to what your spouse wants. The conversation will be trying but it cannot be a monologue where you list out all the reasons your marriage should end.
We are available for a 20 minute complimentary phone consultation where we hear your specific situation and let you know about your divorce options.
We also offer a 90 minute session (in person or over video conference) with both parties to dive deeper into our holistic process and preview post divorce outcomes. You will walk away, or step away from your computer in the age of Zoom, being empowered and informed.
If you have other concerns, we can be reached at (303) 468-5626.
Documents include: Asset Worksheet, Household Goods Inventory, Financial Checkup, Priorities Worksheet and Mandatory Financial Disclosures.