Sue Klebold

Divorcing Without Resentment

Sue Klebold, author of A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy, a book about the Columbine High School massacre, discovered our team at the recommendation of a family member when her marriage of 43 years was in crisis. “We didn’t want to involve costly attorneys, use up our limited resources, and turn our marriage into a battleground,” Sue shared.

Through mediation, we were able to help Sue and her then husband Tom process a depth of issues involved in determining the best future for their relationship.

A Process Anchored in Discovery

Like many couples, Sue and Tom weren’t certain that divorce would be the ultimate outcome of their mediation. “When we went in, our life felt like a tangle of knots that couldn’t be untied,” Sue explained. “The stress of trying to decide what to do with our marriage felt unbearable.”

For this reason, we elected to include a family therapist as part of the process. Sue and Tom met with the therapist privately, as well as during the mediation sessions. Eventually Sue and Tom agreed that a divorce was the best decision. “Our marriage had come to a place where we had no common purpose, interests, or goals,” Sue recalled. We disagreed on how to use our time and money, where and how to live, how to interact with family and friends, and what was important to each of us.”

Despite these divisions, we were able to help Sue and Tom work through the complexity of considerations that came with their choice to divorce, including disputes over assets they had been unable to figure out on their own. We also helped them weigh easy-to-overlook items such as tax ramifications and retirement planning. Sue summed up the experience this way: “It made the impossible possible.”

Divorcing Without Resentment

Because Sue and Tom walked through divorce outside the traditional court systems, they were able to remain in control of the process and strike an important balance between the emotional and financial aspects of their experience.

When we asked Sue how she felt looking back on our work together, and she explained that after talking to others who had gone through longer, costly, and contentious divorces, that she was grateful to have taken another route—one that allowed her and Tom monitor their feelings and practice self-care.

“Although it was never painless, I have no bad or stressful memories about the process,” said Sue. “There is no resentment. I would never want to go through a divorce or separation any other way.”

If you’re just getting started with your divorce, mediation might be for you. Our Roadmap to Resolution can help you reach a peaceful settlement in as little as 8-12 weeks.

LEARN MORE HERE